JAMES MORSE

It’s a rainy morning a few days before Thanksgiving.

I don’t have a lot to do at work at the moment, and whenever that’s the case, my mind often wanders into the “what could be’s”…

I think work over all has broken my spirit so much. I feel productive often, but I often feel like so much of my self is dormant, unapplied, unseen, disengaged. I want to do work where I can throw my whole self into it, but it seems everywhere I look, the only thing that makes money is something where I have to set those desires aside and put forth one of my ‘managers’ to do mostly practical things.

I know my strengths lie in art-making, creativity, and conceptual development, but I just wonder, if I don’t practice these daily, will they atrophy and eventually disappear?

I just don’t really know if the people around me care that much that I’m experiencing this. It’s really as if I should move on and live in the ‘real world’ so to speak instead of in my head, in my dreams. This is true in some sense, in that I must be rooted in the earth, in humility, but I really would like to feel as though my work is engaging my whole being rather than just a part of it.

I don’t mean to complain. I just feel a need to express a sadness of some sort.